One of my history lovers said the art of medieval fences was completely gone. At some point, the last person who really knows what to do is dead.
There are some old papers that describe art, from which people learn a lot, and start the History Fencing Club and Teaching YouTube Channel. But art forms embodied like fences cannot be fully translated into books and then come out in full again. Some subtle people can only be transmitted by a living teacher to a living student.
Much of this expertise will never be rediscovered because no one need Be truly good at swordsmanship. It’s a hobby – no one’s life or legacy depends on mastering this skill, so whether it’s the best, it’s gone.
I find this knowledge lost the idea of bothering, and it comes to me every time I enter the shopper’s drug market, where the art of eye contact between the cashier and the client seems to have been lost. No matter what you do, they won’t look at you. If they look up at all, their gaze is nothing, on the side of your head, and they express their gratitude and receive you your receipt without a trace of kindness.
It feels so sad, the company’s brand now reminds me of this bad feeling. Even if I was a middle-aged man who now complained about the kid correctly, I might deserve this bad feeling because I knew I had helped rush to the demise of what was once a common social grace.
Even if most people don’t, my attitude towards social kindness has always been very poor. Since childhood, I rebelled against chatting and proactive smiles, and I thought eye contact was optional until I was a teenager. It particularly bothers me when my parents’ relatives and friends asked me what I learned in school. I know they can’t actually really care about my homework, so I’m awkward game for these inquiries, which is an embarrassing game that the elderly enjoy for some reason.
There are other shocking situations in my case, but as long as the introductory dramas can be avoided, I can avoid introductory jokes and have not tried to understand why people do it.
Once I learned the word “introversion”, I immediately identified it. It explains why I am so opposed to these artificial rituals of kindness that most others have performed. I’m just another type of person, I don’t understand the norms.
What I didn’t notice is that I have always benefited from other people’s small speech work. It is usually hard for me to know others, but it seems easy for people to talk to. They are friendly and open, making you feel like you can speak your mind. Why can’t everyone do that? Somehow, I didn’t realize that I was away from that ideal with anyone, and I didn’t put in any effort.
Recently, I encountered a series of excellent mini anniversarys, one of the writers named Lauren Wilford, who had a series of excellent oversights in the form of Twitter threads. She also found the little chat and other social grace to be boring, but then understood their value in ways I never had.
I think the concept of “introversion” has hindered my development in my youth and I think we need to remove the introversion/extroversion distinction. It makes me feel that social and social grace is the province of me not some kind of person.
– Lauren Wilford
These threads are totally worth reading, but the gist is that social grace is an art whose purpose is to create an atmosphere in which you can speak more freely. Small talk, but the topic is irrelevant, aiming to send a signal: “If you want to talk to me, this is OK”, which is crucial to a healthy society.
If no one can communicate to the next stage of trust and comfort, the relationship between these people may never surpass strangers.
In other words, it feels OK to have someone you don’t know yet, and it’s rarely an accident. This is usually the result of at least one of you practicing to relax people.
Good things are disappearing
Because I rejected the idea of the whole quiz as someone else’s type, I only feel relaxed when another person takes on this relaxed burden of raising between us. I just didn’t get the way it works.
It is finally clear that good things have disappeared from many daily interactions. Like the experience I have experienced in a drugstore, it shows what society looks like when society begins to give up on the art of social grace.
Due to my own cognitive problems and bluntness, I was an early loser in the art form, but obviously my smartphone runs for generations real Not getting it:
Even though I was born in 1980, I never learned this art because it is practiced by most people around me, and therefore, my life is still limited by social distress. I can navigate for the most part, but I still feel like getting to know new people, or even having conversations with unfriendly friends, so I still tend to delay or avoid avoiding the situation, which is my damage. I just don’t know how to go through these initial exchanges smoothly. I’m eager to introduce and re-recognize, rather than explore them. Then we fell into an awkward silence, and unless another person grasped the rope (which is becoming more and more common), I said something about how hot it was today.
I could write a book that illustrates the damage this negligence has done to my own life, but I know it will affect the other side as well. I can only imagine how many people are embarrassed, rejected or upset in their interactions with me because I don’t know how to rest assured, or that I have the responsibility to try. Even with a certain extra distance to many friends and family, I know it’s my fault.
The secondary effect may be further. I turned down many invitations and I was bailed for interviews, parties and parties. I can’t guess how many friendships have never happened, how many opportunities I avoided, because ordinary social places are like minefields to me, all because I rejected skills that once thought survival was crucial.
Occupy ancient art
We are far from losing this art completely. But the trend is obvious. Fewer people can do well, while more people can avoid them altogether. Not so many people model others. Very few encounters an old master.
Just as no one needs to be good at swordsmanship again, our communication technology enables people to Finish Don’t learn face-to-face art. But, as I can tell you from experience, only the grim standard is obtained. Like me, the whole society is in white face-to-face interactions will be a new type of dystopia.
At the age of 44, I finally actively practiced the art of relaxing others. I’m watching how others do it and trying their actions. If you are looking for them, especially among older people, it still abounds.
What is most exciting is how big a single expression of this art can be made. Pleasant interactions can easily make your day and are easy to achieve. You just need to provide some warm words to respond.
A little bit of jokes from those drama bans – relaxed comments, simple questions and reassuring smiles make people feel relaxed. You can see them relax and open. Sometimes the other party does not accept the offer. They just go “well, yes” or they smile consciously and try to interact through. But I got it because I was that guy too.
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