Astronomers attack Gwyneth Paltrow as “interim spokesperson” after Coldplay Kiss CAM scandal

In one of the strangest corporate hubs in recent memory, data analytics astronomers have recruited Oscar-winning actress and Goop founder Gwyneth Paltrow as a “very temporary” spokesperson after a scandal involving its ready-made member CEO and CEO.

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The weird legend begins when CEO Andy Byron and HR executive Kristin Cabot gets kissed at a Coldplay concert outside Boston. Their attempts to avoid the panic of the big screen have only exacerbated speculation and made social media burn. Later, the two were confirmed to have an affair, which led to both resigning from the company.

Even Paltrow’s ex-husband Chris Martin, even Paltrow’s ex-husband Chris Martin, couldn’t help but joke during the show, “They had an affair, or they were shy.”

Afterwards, astronomers released a peculiar social media video featuring Paltrow to resolve the scandal in the most ridiculous way. “In the past few days, astronomers have had a lot of questions in the past few days and they want me to answer the most common questions,” she said in the video.

Before the question ended, the video cut Paltrow’s clip, saying: “Yes, astronomers are the best place to run Apache Airffore. We’re so excited that many people have a new interest in data automation.”

This move is self-aware and surreal self-awareness, something some call it a masterclass in crisis. One user on X best said: “This is part of the Crisis Management Hall of Fame.”