Education and Jobs

Disengaged interviewer

By Jeff Altman, Big Game Hunter

EP 3094 Have you ever been interviewed by someone who was inattentive? I know I’m not perfect when I interview people. Here’s how to deal with it.

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Okay, let’s get started with a feeling I think we’ve all had. You’re at a job interview and you’re trying your best, but the interviewer looks like they’d rather be anywhere else. It’s a terrible feeling, right? Makes you feel completely powerless.

Today, we’re going to talk about how to flip that script and handle it like a pro. So, imagine you’re in a bind, we’ve been preparing for days, you know your resume like the back of your hand, but the person across from you walks away. Completely excluded.

So what do you do? Do you just keep talking into the void and hope something sticks? Or is there a way to take back control? Oh, you know the signs, right? A classic glance at the watch, maybe they’re checking their phone under the table. You’ll get these short, vague answers to your questions. No follow up.

You get that sinking feeling in your stomach that, yes, I’m losing them. Correct. So let’s give this whole mess a name.

We call it the awkward interview. That’s when the whole thing just ends and you start to doubt every word that comes out of your mouth. More specifically, the people causing this are disengaged interviewers.

This is a person who is visibly bored, distracted, or absent. Simply discovering this is one thing, but what you do next is what matters. So how do you actually deal with it? Well, here’s the secret.

What matters is not just what you do, but when you do it. Before you take any action, you have to read the room. For this, timing is absolutely everything.

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You have to ask yourself, when did this happen? Look, if they look a little distraught in the first two minutes, let it be. Seriously. They might change the subject from the last meeting, think about lunch, etc.

Don’t think too much. But if you’re 15, 20 minutes in and this is still happening, then okay, now you’ve got a pattern, it’s time to figure out what’s going on. This is our main activity.

This is a power move. Instead of just sitting there and taking it, you’re going to come up with a very simple but very powerful tool, direct questions. It sounds scary, but it’s really just two simple steps.

First, take a pause. Stop talking. Take a breath.

Calm down. Silence itself is powerful. Then you address what’s going on directly but very, very politely.

This is the sentence. You can use this word almost word for word. You said, you know, I may have read it wrong, but I sensed that you were not interested in this interview.

Did I catch you at the wrong time? See how awesome that is? This is not an attack. You are giving them a chance. You’re just asking for information.

Let us be very clear here. The goal is clarity, not confrontation. You are a detective.

You’re just trying to figure something out. Are there any emergencies at work that distract them? Or did you say something that made them think you weren’t a good fit? You don’t know, that’s why you ask. Okay, you’ve asked the question.

What now? Well, their answers will lead you down one of two paths, each of which gives you a very clear next step. So this is a fork in the road. Option one.

They’ll say, oh, I’m sorry, yeah, the client was having a crisis, my mind was somewhere else. Great. You just need to show some understanding and maybe even offer to reschedule.

But if they say, well, honestly, I haven’t heard the experience that I’m looking for, ding, ding, ding, that’s your answer. They just told you it wasn’t appropriate. The moment you get validation, the moment they tell you it’s not the right fit, it’s time to quit the career.

This is not about rushing out. It’s about ending the interview on your own terms, and ending it on everyone’s terms. This is your script.

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You immediately called me and said, well, I appreciate your honesty and I definitely don’t want to waste your time anymore. Thank you and good luck with your search. That’s it.

You stand up, shake their hand, and walk out with your head held high. You just respect your time and their time. Now, this brings us to the most important rule in the entire play.

The golden rule. No matter what happens, no matter how they react, you will never become obnoxious. Once you get defensive or rude, all you’re doing is proving them right.

See, your professionalism is everything. This is your currency in the work world. By handling the situation gracefully, you’ll make a good impression even if you don’t get the job.

Believe me, the world is a small place. You never want to burn a bridge. So that leaves you with one final thought, right? We always go into interviews thinking that the person on the other side of the table holds all the power.

But when you have the confidence to ask for clarification, and the professionalism to get out of a situation that doesn’t serve you, well, who really has the power? Something to think about. That’s it this time. See you in the next article.

I was interviewing for a job and noticed it had been reposted

About Big Game Hunter Jeff Altman

People hire “Big Game Hunter” Jeff Altman to provide no-nonsense career advice around the world because he makes so many things in people’s careers easier. Those ones Matters may involve job search, recruiting more effectively, managing and leading better, career transition, and advice on solving workplace problems.

He is the producer and former host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 job search podcast on iTunes with over 3,000 episodes.

How to thrive in your career if you have a disability

You’ll find important information to help you with your job search on my new website, ⁠⁠Job Hunting.Community⁠⁠ In addition to video courses, books, and guides, I answer members’ questions about their job search every day. Leave your job search questions and I will respond every day. Becoming an Insider+ member gives you everything you get as an Insider+ member, plus you can connect with me via Zoom call to get your questions answered. Become an Insider Premium member and we offer individual and group coaching.

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