By Jeff Altman, Big Game Hunter
EP 3097 It’s painful to see people acting desperate in their job search.
Executive Playbook: C Suite Transition
Okay, let’s get started. We’ve all been there, right? You send out your resume, you absolutely crush the interview, and then there’s nothing but waiting. The wait can be brutal.
Every minute felt like an hour. The urge to follow up, to check again, was so strong. But what if I told you this might actually hurt your chances? Today, we’re going to think about the next steps in your job search in a completely different way.
I know, this sounds a little weird, but hear me out. Have you ever thought about it this way? The whole process of waiting for a job opportunity has a lot in common with courtship. You know, there are these unwritten rules, certain expectations, and this very delicate dance that you have to do.
So, check it out. A recruitment veteran with over 40 years in the industry shares this surprising insight. Like dating, being a little unapproachable can actually make a candidate appear more attractive, he said.
Now, this kind of goes against everything we think we know, right? So let’s really dig into what this actually means. Well, let’s explore this courtship ritual. The goal is not to appear aloof or appear uncaring, not caring at all.
It’s about finding that sweet spot where you show your enthusiasm and interest without coming across as overly pushy or, worse, desperate. And this is where everything can go wrong. When you push too hard, too fast, it creates this very negative vibe.
The source material uses some pretty strong words. Compare overly aggressive candidates to worms or stalkers. Look, no one wants to be viewed this way, but it just goes to show how easily our best intentions can be completely misunderstood.
This brings us to our next point: the fork in the road of despair. Here, we’ll look at the real-world consequences of being too eager and look at why your follow-up strategy might actually blow up in your face. This really gets to the heart of the matter, doesn’t it? This is a huge disconnect.
In your mind, you think, Hey, I’m proactive. I’m showing them that I really want this. But from the side of their desk, the exact same behavior may look desperate and, frankly, annoying.
It’s a classic case of your intentions versus their perceptions. Yeah, I mean, when you follow up again and again, it doesn’t feel like a career interest anymore. You start to feel like you’re begging.
This is a huge frustration for any employer. They want to hire a confident professional, not someone who looks like he’s begging them to give it a try. That’s the real problem, that’s why this whole approach doesn’t work.
Many times, recruiting teams are simply not prepared to make a decision. They have their own processes, their own internal timelines. Your constant check-ins won’t magically speed things up.
All they do is increase the pressure. What is the natural human response to this? They will feel uncomfortable and start to flinch to push you away. If you think this is a bit of an exaggeration, get it, sources mention that some candidates will call recruiters as many as three times a day.
I mean, wow, this is a perfect example of how this can all go very, very thoroughly. Here’s what recruiters have to say about it. They just started ignoring the calls.
Disengaged interviewer
Why? Well, for one thing, they don’t reward what they perceive to be bad behavior. But more importantly, think about it. Every minute they spend on the phone with you is not spent doing something you want them to do, like find you a job.
It does work against you. Okay, okay, we’ve talked a lot about what not to do. Let’s turn around and discuss the solution.
This section is about a smarter, more effective strategy that respects your employer’s schedule while making you look professional and confident. Did you know? The best strategies are actually very, very simple. It’s just about changing your mindset.
First, slow down and take a deep breath. The key is to think outside of your schedule and work on their schedule and at their pace. This means you can replace all those constant calls with the occasional simple note.
That’s it, it really is that simple. So, what does a good note look like? Well, the source provides a perfect example. See how easy this is? Hello, I haven’t received your message.
Is there any movement for this character? Very polite, to the point, and zero pressure. It just says, hey, I’m still interested, no requirements. This is what career persistence looks like.
So here’s a mental checklist for you. Before you send your next follow-up message, give it a quick mental review. Is it occasional? Isn’t it very simple? Do I respect their schedule? Most importantly, do I avoid putting pressure on them? If you can say “yes” to all of these, you’re golden.
This brings us to the last and most important part, because everything we discussed, all of these strategies, all of this advice, it all boils down to one super powerful principle, a simple empathy test. So before you do anything else, before you pick up the phone or start typing an email, it’s recommended to pause. In that moment, do one simple thing.
Put yourself in other people’s shoes. I mean, really imagine that. You’re a recruiter with dozens of candidates, a packed schedule, and your own deadlines.
How do they feel about your follow-up? Ultimately, it all comes down to this one question. Considering everything from their perspective, is this how you want to be treated? The answer to this question will guide you to make the right decision every time.
I was interviewing for a job and noticed it had been reposted
About Big Game Hunter Jeff Altman
People hire “Big Game Hunter” Jeff Altman to provide no-nonsense career advice around the world because he makes so many things in people’s careers easier. Those ones Matters may involve job search, recruiting more effectively, managing and leading better, career transition, and advice on solving workplace problems.
He is the producer and former host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 job search podcast on iTunes with over 3,000 episodes.
How to thrive in your career if you have a disability
You’ll find important information to help you with your job search on my new website, Job Hunting.Community In addition to video courses, books, and guides, I answer members’ questions about their job search every day. Leave your job search questions and I will respond every day. Becoming an Insider+ member gives you everything you get as an Insider+ member, plus you can connect with me via Zoom call to get your questions answered. Become an Insider Premium member and we offer individual and group coaching.
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